Million Dollar What?

Hey. Well, I have been out of town and busy and I've had company so I have neglected my million dollar quest and my goal to write every day. But what's done is done and now we shall move forward. I'm not really all that interested in making a million dollars anymore. Maybe when I get past the first trimester I'll be able to get excited about it again. It's just that this part of pregnancy is the worst for me. Worse than the end when you're miserable and worse than the labor and delivery itself. Nausea is as gross as the word itself.

I am not ready to throw in the towel, for I still believe it is possible to make a million by November. And yes, that would be a solution to many things on my mental "to-do before baby comes" list. But I've taken care of a baby before. And you don't need as many bells and whistles as you think, and you definitely don't need a million dollars. And really, the infant you receive is worth more than a million could ever buy, so, really, when I deliver, I will have reached and exceeded my goal, right?

I guess except the television part. But it's really no big deal to get on TV these days. Have you watched any television lately? You don't need any sort of skills. In fact, it seems to celebrate people without any skills whatsoever. Really, what I need is an appearance on a game show. If I win a million, I could knock out both goals at once.

Still Here

Well, I have broken my vow to myself to write every day. We are out of town visiting my parents and my late night time to blog isn't possible because the computer resides in my parents bedroom. It's no excuse though. My best excuse is that the nausea and exhaustion has hit me full force these last few days. I had this vision. You know when you go and give blood, there are like a dozen or so recliners in a big room, and you lie there and they are real nice to you as you donate. Anyways, I think there is something that happens to pregnant women in their first trimester. While we are asleep at night, we are kidnapped and taken to a big room full of beds where they plug something into your belly button (I picked belly button because that's where my two year old thinks babies come out of) that extracts all your energy out. You are left feeling limp, hungry, nauseated, and depressed all at the same time.

Where do these people come from? Why do they feel it necessary to zap you of all your strength, personality, and ability to function normally? It is a phenomenon I will never understand.

But, I have done this before and I do know that it doesn't last forever. And some days are better than others. Hence, my ability to actually blog today. My advice to the first trimester energy zapped pregnant woman: ONE DAY AT A TIME. Take a nap. Your body is busy like forming organs and stuff. It's no small task.

Earnings

Drumroll................ We made One Hundred Ninety Five dollars today! And here's some advice. Don't have a garage sale in the first trimester of your pregnancy. Please wait until you are past this exhausted first trimester and can arise from bed at five something without feeling totally deprived. Oh, and just so you know, once you are a parent, you will never be able to wake up at any time, let alone five something without being totally deprived. That said, I am off to bed.

Million Dollar Total: $195.00

Garage Sale

Well, I have only known of my pregnancy for one week now, and I've been on my million dollar quest for 6 days. Already I am bringing in the bucks! Tomorrow we are having a garage sale. This event was actually already on my calendar a month ago, but since I have come to realize this may be the only cash I make in the next 9 months, I'm going to add it to my million dollar tally. Then, at least, I can claim forward progress toward my goal. I will post our grand total tomorrow.

Words

Tonight I am thinking about words. Words that have only come into my regular vocabulary since having three children. I wish they weren't here but they are. Words like hemorrhoids, variscosities, yeast, pelvic exam, heartburn, swelling, insomnia, contractions, nausea, stitches and the like. BUT then there are the other words. The nice words. You think I'm going to list those too don't you? Sorry. You have to wait for these. These words do not come until after you deliver. There is some sort of magic "I love pregnancy and childbirth" vocabulary hormone you get at some point after childbirth. The lucky ones get it right away. They lie in recovery and want to get pregnant all over again. For others it takes months but it will come. You will forget the bad words and they WILL be replaced with the good. So I just try to forget these impending conditions and focus on the incredible feeling of a newborn in my arms and a hemorrhoid in my...oh wait I was supposed to forget about that. Oh well.

Nausea Tips

It is my goal to celebrate this pregnancy. Today I'd like to celebrate the fact that I'm not nauseated yet. It doesn't hit me until sometime during the 7th week usually. Of course I'm hoping I just don't get ill this time, but it's not likely. Here are some tips to stave off nausea I've come up with over the years that are my personal favorites.

EAT.
Get enough rest.
Turn on a fan and let the cool air hit your face.
Prop yourself up in a recliner, and try not to move a muscle.
Go for a walk.
Call or talk to someone who is able to soothe and distract you at the same time.
Remove all unnecessary clothing and lie on your left side.
Wet a washcloth, wrap an ice cube in it, and place it on your throat.
Wear lip gloss with peppermint oil in it.
Tell yourself over and over that "it's worth it, it's worth it, it's worth it..."

Sadly enough I could go on for quite a while but it's late and I'm going to relish going to bed without the need of any of these remedies. YET!

The hand that rocks the cradle

Well, today we got a million dollar pregnancy website up and going. My husband and I still have no idea exactly how we are going to raise a million dollars but we're not throwing in the towel just yet. I don't need a million dollars, really. I have everything I need. I do not believe money makes you happy or satisfied in life. But one must admit, in our society, money is essential to attain food, clothing, and shelter. Even though all I really want is a house with two showers and some money aside for my children's education, I figured why not aim big. Today my mother reminded me of the famous quote, "For the hand that rocks the cradle, is the one who rules the world." (William Ross Wallace)

I'd just like this pregnancy crusade I'm on to celebrate ruling the world from my modest home while reading books to my children in my pajamas. Don't you?

Giraffes and Squirrels

I can only take things one day at a time. So today I am about 43 days pregnant. Based on my other pregnancies, I carry my babies about 282 days. So I have about 239 to go. Good thing I'm not a squirrel, because I'd be giving birth any day now. Maybe you know that elephants are pregnant more than twice as long as humans but the animal I am fascinated with is the giraffe.

Giraffes carry their babies for about 425 days, then proceed to give birth standing up, the baby coming out rear hooves first, then the rear hips with the head resting upon them. WHAT? And I don't know about you, but I enjoy the fact that my baby can't go anywhere for at least 6 or 7 months after birth. The giraffe baby drops five feet and stands up. Could you imagine giving birth and then having your baby running around the delivery room, exploring, eating important hospital documents, and then playing in the toilet? No thanks. My two hundred eighty something days until a swaddled bundle of wonderful comes to lay on my chest is just right for me.

Spread Thin

When I took my pregnancy test the other night, I was so cocky that it was going to be negative. I was just in denial. I knew deep down it was a strong possibility because I know my body. It's like somebody stuck a cork up in there. I keep waiting to start my period and...NOTHING. After taking the test, within minutes I had on my pajamas and was hiding under the covers. My husband came to find me and I was shedding a few overwhelmed tears. I am just afraid I will not be able to get everything done to keep house and also have time to breastfeed and play with my other children.

It's like when you get out the peanut butter jar and there's only like a teaspoon left in there. You've already got a nice slice of bread ready for it, and you discover there's not enough peanut butter to cover the bread with the thickness you desire. So you spread what you've got. Even though it's not ideal, it still tastes good. I guess that's how I feel. I may be spread thin, but I'm confident I can still taste good in the end.

So, lying there in tears, I made my husband sign some written contracts. It's really hillarious what you will do in your horomone raged state. It's only the beginning. When you are pregnant, it really feels as if an alien has taken over your body. At this stage my baby is no bigger than a grain of rice but already it seems as if she (I'm hoping) is a raging lion whom I throw food at and she laughs as if to say, "Do you think that will even make a dent?" Let's hope she likes bread with a small amount of peanut butter, 'cause that's pretty much all I've got.

Still wearing my skinny pants

Even though it is way past midnight, I must share that I achieved some of my own previously listed things to do.

Tonight I wore somewhat tight pants out with some friends to eat and then we went to the movies. I relished every moment. Despite our efforts, my husband and I leaked the information to some close friends. (Word to the pregnant: Don't leave your positive pregnancy test sitting in the bathroom when friends come over for dinner.) I usually try to wait a few weeks at least. I just like to let the knowledge age in my own mind before I have to share it with others. Especially this time since I am not even a year out from delivering the last.

I am brainstorming ways to make a million before I deliver. But for now, my goal is just to write every day. With three munchkins running around, this is enough aspiration.

So there you have it. Oh, and I took my vitamin today. Make that one more thing off my list.

It's Positive

Tonight I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. It was so exciting. I had an accelerated heart rate, I was shaky, and I had to apply additional deodorant because all of a sudden my armpits were moist.

This is the fourth time for me. My youngest is only 11 months. I was not planning on having another child so soon. But what's done is done and my husband and I can honestly say we are already attached to this child too.

I have two goals with this pregnancy:

•To get on Television
•To make One Million Dollars

These goals aren't a joke, I'm serious. I'm going to be 30 this year. Tons of people in this country make a million by the time they're 30. Why shouldn't I? I work like crazy 24-7. As far as the television part, I know that if I ever get on television, there will be people there who are getting paid to make sure I have on a nice outfit and am actually wearing make-up. This is coming from someone who isn't even sure if make-up is a hyphenated word.

I figured this blog was a good way to start. I feel I may have something to offer the pregnant community since I have done this three times before. So let's begin with ten things to do when you get a positive pregnancy test:
1. Rejoice. Celebrate.

2. Take a vitamin with folic acid. It will make you feel better when you begin to read pregnancy books.

3. Take a picture of your stomach. It will never be this flat again.

4. Eat something. Soon things will not taste the same.

5. Wear your skinniest pair of jeans. Soon things will not fit the same.

6. If you're a smoker, stop.

7. If you drink, stop.

8. Go out to dinner and to the movies. Soon you will not be able to do this without days of planning and brain power you do not have.

9. Ask questions and find a good obstetrician if you don't already have one.

10. Start putting together the jillion piece puzzle inside of you and try to enjoy every minute of it.